It’s been awhile since we’ve penned a blog and while the
last five years have been dedicated to details of our Europe-wide travels (and
beyond), the blog may shift as we try to maneuver this upcoming parenting
thing.
Perhaps, in time, it will shift back to travel – this time
with a rug rat in tow. Which begs the question – are children checked baggage
or carry on?
For now, as I’m currently 5 days past my due date, pregnancy
is on my mind big time. I’ve entered the waddling phase and after a near fall yesterday
when my pant leg got stuck in the spokes of my bike – I’m officially taking it
easy.
I’ve been lucky during this pregnancy though, relatively
speaking. I consider my pregnancy a positive experience and I’ve been able to
remain active and still participate in activities I loved pre-pregnancy – but
that doesn’t mean it hasn’t had its negative moments. But to be honest, most of
those moments have come from third parties. So I dedicate these words to
explaining the language of pregnancy. Or better yet – what not to say to a
pregnant woman, ever.
Encourage mint
Being pregnant can be tough, even when pregnancy itself is
running smoothly. Your hormones are a bit out of whack, your body is constantly
changing and your I.Q. is cut in half. (Seriously, it’s a wonder I can still
type in full sentences as I’ve resorted to speaking like a cave man).
It’s during these times that encouragement goes a long way.
Here’s a list of appropriate affirmations that every pregnant woman would love
to hear:
“You’re doing great!”
“You look wonderful!”
“I know it’s tough, but you are handling it like a pro!”
“Pregnancy suits you!”
“Keep up the good work!”
And when all else fails, “Congrats!” works every time.
Weighing your options
Why yes, I am completely aware that I have packed on some
pounds in the last 41 weeks, no need to remind me! Please avoid phrases like:
“You’re huge!”
“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
“That baby is going to be so big!”
Let’s focus on the latter for a moment. While I know that
the birthing experience doesn’t have to be frightful, the thought of pushing a
large object out of my nether regions brings a slight bit of anxiety. It’s
sometimes impossible for a doctor or midwife to accurately predict the size of
a baby in utero, so perhaps your estimation is off, too. But putting that
thought into a pregnant woman’s head can be very detrimental to her mental
state.
Feel free to resort back to old faithful: “Congrats!”
The name game
After “how far along are you? the most common question I’m
asked is “do you have a name picked out?” And yes, I do, but I’ve stopped
telling people what it is.
See, it doesn’t matter to me if you had a boyfriend with
that name that broke your heart, or you simply don’t like it. I don’t want to
hear it. None of your name issues matter to me. It’s unnecessary negativity and
the likelihood of me changing it to suit you is slim.
Again, when you hear it and don’t like it, say
“Congrats!”
Touch and go
Never, ever, is it appropriate to touch a woman’s belly if
she is a stranger. Ever. I can’t imagine anyone who would do that to a
non-pregnant stranger, so think of it the same way. Even if you’re familiar
with the person, it’s nice to ask. I honestly don’t mind folks rubbing the Buddah,
but when strangers do it – it makes me feel creepy.
So don’t touch, instead, just say “Congrats!”
You shouldn’t
If you ever have the urge to begin a sentence directed toward
pregnant women with these two words, stop. Instead say “Congrats!”
The unflattering
birth story
A few months ago Jeremy and I were eating at a restaurant
when our waitress decided to go into great detail about her horrific birth
experience. To make matters worse, we were eating Indian food. We have yet to
return to this place as the food was as bad at the service, but we still can’t
figure out why she thought it was a good idea to scare to the shit out of me
with her personal tale.
Everyone’s experience is different. Sure, my birth could be
horrific or it could be the most beautiful and uplifting experience of my life.
But it’s mine. Keep it light and keep those horror stories to yourself.
Instead, say “Congrats!”
Seriously, works every time.